Do not judge and you will not be judged.
Forgive and you will be forgiven.
Give and it will be given to you.
Luke 6: 37-38

17 December 2009

Humour 3



May your troubles be less, your blessings more,

and may nothing but happiness, come through your door.
On the first day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."
The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"

So God agreed......
On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."
The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"

And God agreed......

On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"

And God agreed again......

On the fourth day, God created humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."

But the human said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God. "You asked for it."

So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you. There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as a public service.
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I was born in France and brought up as a catholic. After the traumatic divorce of my parents, I moved to England and became a lost sheep. However I was convinced that I was 'a good person' until I fell in a muddy pit in July 2005 after taking decisions without seeking God's Word for guidance.  I cried out to the Lord and He heard me. I was rescued and redeemed by Jesus-Christ my saviour. He has turned my life around. 
I live blissfully with my husband Steven,  a c.o.e. vicar, near Stafford (UK). We are the proud parents of three loving daughters, I am also a step-mum, I have an amazing family including a step mum, two brothers and two sister and a dear sister-in-law and her children and grand-children, lots of cousins and eleven nephews and nieces. We live near Stafford in the UK.