I found the following joke on the Dornoch Cathedral website !
A Blonde was sent on her way to Heaven. Upon arrival, a concerned Peter met her at the Pearly Gates. “I’m sorry,” Peter said, “But Heaven is suffering from an overload of goodly souls and we have been forced to put up an Entrance Exam for
new arrivals to ease the burden of Heavenly Arrivals.”
“That’s cool” said the blonde, “What does the Entrance Exam consist of?”
“Just three questions” said Peter.
“Which are?” asked the blonde.
“The first,” said Peter, “is, which two days of the week start with the letter T? The second is How many seconds are there in a year? The third is What is the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?”
“Now,” said Peter, “Go away and think about those questions and when I call you, I shall expect you to have those answers for me.”
So the blonde went away and gave those three questions some considerable thought (I expect you to do the same).
The following morning, Peter called upon the blonde and asked if she had considered the questions, to which she replied ”I have.”
“Well then,” said Peter, “Which two days start with the letter T?”
The blonde said, “Today and Tomorrow.”
Peter pondered this answer for some time, and decided that indeed the answer can be applied to the question.
“Well then, could I have your answer to the second of the three questions?” Peter went on, “how many seconds in a year?”
The blonde replied “Twelve!”
“Only twelve?” exclaimed Peter, How did you arrive at that figure?”
“Easy,” said the blonde, “there’s the second of January, the second of February, right through to the second of December, giving a total of twelve seconds.”
Peter looked at the blonde and said “ I need some time to consider your answer before I can give you a decision.” And he walked away shaking his head.
A short time later, Peter returned to the blonde. “I’ll allow the answer to stand, but you need to get the third and final question absolutely correct to be allowed into Heaven. Now, can you tell me the answer to the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?”
The blond replied: “Of the three questions, I found this the easiest to answer. “Really!” exclaimed Peter, “And what is the answer?”
“It’s Andy.” “Andy?”
“Yes, Andy,” said the blonde.
This totally floored Peter, and he paced this way and that, deliberating the answer. Finally, he could not stand the suspense any longer, and turning to the blonde, asked “How did you arrive at THAT answer?” ”Easy” said the blonde,
Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited til his billy boiled.”
And the blonde entered Heaven…
***What’s worse I bet you are now singing it to yourself!!!!!!
Have a blessed week-end!
- I was born in France and brought up as a catholic. After the traumatic divorce of my parents, I moved to England and became a lost sheep. However I was convinced that I was 'a good person' until I fell in a muddy pit in July 2005 after taking decisions without seeking God's Word for guidance. I cried out to the Lord and He heard me. I was rescued and redeemed by Jesus-Christ my saviour. He has turned my life around. I live blissfully with my husband Steven, a c.o.e. vicar, near Stafford (UK). We are the proud parents of three loving daughters, I am also a step-mum, I have an amazing family including a step mum, two brothers and two sister and a dear sister-in-law and her children and grand-children, lots of cousins and eleven nephews and nieces. We live near Stafford in the UK.