Do not judge and you will not be judged.
Forgive and you will be forgiven.
Give and it will be given to you.
Luke 6: 37-38

23 June 2013

Humour, the blonde and the alligator

alligator.jpg
 
The Blonde & The Alligator
A young blonde was on vacation and driving through the Everglades.
She wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle on prices" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Well then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator, so I can get a pair of shoes for free!"
The shopkeeper said with a sly, knowing smile, "Little lady, just go and give it a try!"
So the blonde headed out toward the swamps, determined to catch an alligator!
Later in the day, as the shopkeeper is driving home, he pulls over to the side of the levee, where he spots that same young woman standing waist-deep in the murky bayou water, shotgun in hand.
Just then, he spots a huge 9-foot 'gator swimming rapidly toward her. With lightning speed, she takes aim, kills the creature and hauls it onto the slimy bank of the swamp. Lying nearby were seven more of the dead creatures, all lying on their backs. The shopkeeper stood on the bank, watching in silent amazement.
The blonde struggled and flipped the 'gator onto its back. Rolling her eyes heaven-ward and screaming in great frustration, she shouts out, "S&^%T ... THIS ONE'S BAREFOOT TOO!"
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I was born in France and brought up as a catholic. After the traumatic divorce of my parents, I moved to England and became a lost sheep. However I was convinced that I was 'a good person' until I fell in a muddy pit in July 2005 after taking decisions without seeking God's Word for guidance.  I cried out to the Lord and He heard me. I was rescued and redeemed by Jesus-Christ my saviour. He has turned my life around. 
I live blissfully with my husband Steven,  a c.o.e. vicar, near Stafford (UK). We are the proud parents of three loving daughters, I am also a step-mum, I have an amazing family including a step mum, two brothers and two sister and a dear sister-in-law and her children and grand-children, lots of cousins and eleven nephews and nieces. We live near Stafford in the UK.