A special parrot.err...

Well, it's pretty difficult to find excellent jokes these days...tonight I found this one about a special parrot..

One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. 

The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks the man to choose one. 

The man asks, ''How much is the yellow one?''

 The assistant says, '' 2000.'' 

The man is shocked and asks the assistant why it's so expensive. The assistant explains, ''This parrot is a very special one. 

He knows typewriting and can type really fast.'' ''What about the green one?'' the man asks. The assistant says, ''He costs 5000 because he knows typewriting and can answer incoming telephone calls and takes notes.'' 

''What about the red one?'' the man asks. The assistant says, ''That one's 10,000.'' 

The man says, ''What does HE do?'' 

The assistant says, ''I don't know, but the other two call him boss.''

2 Clean Christmas jokes!

1 Christmas Spirit
It was just before Christmas and the magistrate was in a happy mood. He asked the prisoner who was in the dock, 'What are you charged with?'
The prisoner replied, 'Doing my Christmas shopping too early.'

'That's no crime', said the magistrate. 'Just how early were you doing this shopping?'

'Before the shop opened', answered the prisoner.

2 Father Christmas Calls

Alex was five; all his Christmas presents were always signed, 'from Father Christmas.'

A little while after Alex had opened all his presents on Christmas morning, we became aware that he was looking quite down in the mouth for no obvious reason.

'What's the matter, Al?' I asked.

'Ummmm, 'replied Alex slowly, 'I really hoped that you and Mummy would give me something for Christmas.'

The rich man

A rich Christian man was talking to God, "Can't I take it with me when I go?"

God always answered the same way, "NO!" 

Finally one day the man talked God into it and God said, "Okay you can take two suitcases full of anything you want." 

The man filled up two suitcases full of gold. 

When the rich man reached the pearly gates St. Peter asked the rich man why he had two suitcases. The rich man said, "It's okay I've already cleared it with God."

St. Peter asked him to open the suitcases,

!Then the rich man opened the suitcase, St. Peter said, "Why did you bring paving?"

More humour!

As a trucker stops at a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says “Hi, my name is Heather and you’re losing some of your load.” 

The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, “Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!” 

Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street. At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker lowers the window. Again she says “Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!” 

When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde’s car. He knocks on her window, and as she lowers it, he says “Hi, my name is Kevin, it’s Winter in Michigan and I’m driving the SALT TRUCK!”

There are many more on my friend's blog, click here!

Have a blessed evening! N.